i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing its fins
if your girlfriend is cold, be a gentleman. put her in the oven for 40 minutes on 350. check often and serve plain or with white gravy
"There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself."
― Lemony Snicket (via psych-quotes)
"LOOK AT THE DOG"
me every time there is a dog regardless of the situation (via guy)
Lorde is 17 and just won 2 Grammys I’m 21 and I spilled yogurt on my chest this morning
"Thinking something does not make it true. Wanting something does not make it real."
― Michelle Hodkin (via psych-quotes)
"Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will"
― John Green (via psych-quotes)
"In everybody’s life there’s a point of no return. And in a very few cases, a point where you can’t go forward anymore. And when we reach that point, all we can do is quietly accept the fact. That’s how we survive."
― Haruki Murakami (via psych-quotes)